Incredulous

2007-02-12T15:23:00.000+08:00

blogger google version sucks.

i cant get the page to load at home, or maybe its just my internet.

the scoring course over the weekend went okay, and i sat for the test and had a 91% distinction. i'd thought i'd really fail 'cos i was so damn careless in my scoring.

anyhow. someone please surprise me on valentine's day. heh.

i feel in a light mood today.
i wonder why.

2007-02-08T21:45:00.000+08:00

al gore almost moved me to tears. ALMOST.

okay so laugh at my situation all you want, but things like that do affect me.

stress levels have been soaring of late, and i hope it will all subside by this week. i'm burnt and my mind's almost spent; but of course, with the end of the week, i hope i'd have enough fun as much as i'd had stress. although i wonder how exactly i'd do that since my life is anything but fun.

O's are out tmr and i bid the following people good luck; Balls, Syahidah, Amin, Luqman, Zul, Ashley
(make the right choice.)

-------------

i'm sorry for the tears i made you cry. your appeal still resonates- and so does my injustice to you.

2007-02-06T22:52:00.000+08:00

as if my workload was insufficient, i have yet ANOTHER GP presentation to deal with.
so that makes 3 friggin' presentations on hold.

plus, im waaay behind in my maths.
and there's a history test i've yet to study for this friday.

i cant friggin wait for this week to be over.. i think.

BUT OTHERWISE

TODAY WAS JUST FUCKEN AWESOME.

:D

2007-02-04T16:16:00.000+08:00

i found another reason to hate weekends other than boredom: HOMEWORK/ASSIGNMENTS.

well i should be getting used to this kinda lifestyle. i have to stop procrastinating. especially with all the subjects that i couldnt be bothered about.

on a happier note, yesterday morning was kickass at SCA. i got to train with Rasta members who are alot more experienced and alot more skilled and got valuable coaching from some coaches there. as well as watch pro cricketers practising their batting in the nets. Goh Swee Heng makes an awesome coach, by the way.

ok ok i really feel like soaking in culture right now.

2007-02-03T00:19:00.000+08:00

i had a spanking awesome day today before, during and after trng.

some of us know why, don't we.
:D

i cant help but think it was just AWESOME luck. never in a million years i thought i'd get the chance.

i love today.

nostalgia

2007-02-01T22:50:00.000+08:00

i am feeling both NOSTALGIC and SOULFUL.

nostalgic because i heard a ska(maybe) rendition of malay oldies Hari ini dan Semalam. yes, j.mizan was the original singer. and diss me for being so pop-yeh-yeh 60's but im old skool to some extent. and PROUD OF IT. most parents would probably be able to relate to the all-too-familiar- j.mizan and uji rashid and the like. and now im listening to all the old rock ballads that i absolutely adore. take me back to the 60s! or 70s! 80s even!

on the other hand, i was listening to bossa nova as well. and well i'll recommend for anyone in need to slow down and just chill.

NOSTALGIA MAKES ME HIGH.

(and i'm a total sucker for all things old skool.)

Hari ini dan semalam:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IBUrgqtI_UQ

2007-02-01T00:14:00.000+08:00

i really did wake up late after all. too bad.

today i indulged myself. firstly,i had chocolates, dark choc and almond milk. after that i went to get my shades and a cricket bat (which i kinda regret, but nevermind).

its an almost perfect day, if u exclude the workload that's beset upon me.
i only have 1 pc of homework, and that would be my h1 history.
i have 3 projects on hand, 2 GP and 1 Geography. i seem to be running out of time all the time.

i'll tell you what i feel like doing now.

1.take a stroll with some friends down haji lane and just chill. probably some nice ice cream at pluck! as bossa nova plays in the background.
2.chill at arab st area at night, smoke sheesha or something and listen to middle-eastern music.
3.shop at far east.
4.shop for bleach anime.
5.play cricket
6.sparring. long time since i did that. and long time since i did that with TKD and jiujitsu/silat exponents.. *hints to amin, nabil, muhd and sub..*
7. explore some inconspicuous corner of singapore.
8.visit the historical museum and red dot design museum

..i can pretty much say that i need to SOAK in some CULTURE right now. school's so stifling ya know.

(as i say this im listening to bossa nova classic- girl from ipanema. i think i'm beginning to appreciate this genre of music..slowly.)

2007-01-28T21:51:00.000+08:00

just imagine blond, messy long hair on a broad, muscled, body.
coupled with a laidback yet if-you-want-me-i'm-all-yours-anytime attitude and cool demeanour.

presenting to you, Urahara Kisuke, former 12th division captain, who's got a hot hot hot best friend.

And. Urahara is SEX.

ooh. taste it.
i guess i like the strong, cool, nonchalant and silent type.
so enticing.

today, i found the perfect pair of shades at RSH at raffles SC. and i found plenty of bleach merchandise. and i think i'll get my cricket gear from mustafa, seeing that i've not found a suitable bat at peninsula.

seems like a shopping spree is not too far away.

2007-01-26T22:56:00.000+08:00

i was in a pretty good mood for most part of the day until i was told that cricket got cancelled.
here i was, waiting in my wide-eyed excitement at the thought of practising at the pitch and it had to rain today.

its just too bad cricket is a weather-sensitive sport.

but at least i was entertained, watching anime at home rotting away while i waited for silat trng.

seeing my compatriots in a good mood today just cheered me up. li seemed chirpy today, when usually he's sullen by himself; but that's good, it makes me feel good seeing him playfully sparring with his little sister and brothers and bola was the usual goofball he was.

things do feel fine despite the rain after all.

i realise how grateful i am for all these ppl around me. it sounds really touchy, considering the fact that i rarely bare my emotions to many, and the select few are those that i trust. these are the ppl who've seen me cry, seen my anger, seen my silliness, seen my vulnerable moments, seen my embarrassing moments and stuff. and the thought of growing up, and growing apart from each other is kinda saddening.

so, i shall learn to cherish.

2007-01-25T22:14:00.000+08:00

thursday is the best weekday.

passing by haji lane and the arab street area certainly evoked fond reminisce of days-gone-by with my colleagues. its been awhile since i've seen them, or spoke to them (partly because of my handphone being out-of-order at the moment). i mean, what have you guys been up to man?

and i truly miss haji lane, walking down and visiting the indie/underground boutiques and quirky stores. oh. and ice cream.. avocado and gula melaka, an unlikely combination but delectable nevertheless. how can i forget Niche, 3 and Pluck!.. all too good. its a quiet area in the daytime, but arab street is alive and just such a nice place at night to unwind with all the oriental/eastern music playing while you sit sipping teh tarik at one of its coffeeshops near the mosque. the area seems to have a 'boho' feel to it somehow.

i think i like this kinda nightlife. the thing is, i need to get the time.

school was rubbish as usual. but i love thursdays cos i end early.

just a random note: i feel like tasting flesh right now.

2007-01-23T23:24:00.000+08:00

year 2007 is so different. days are spent eating, doing work, sleeping partly during lectures and shutting off during tutorials.

by right, it shouldnt be so.

it would've been a totally mundane school life if not for the side activities that i have. chatting and cricketing, and just stroll around lazily dragging my feet with my tucked out blouse and sloppy tie. i've never looked worse.

but the fun part is when i begin to relish my pseudo-paedophilic tendencies. (and a current fetish for guys not of my own race)

im not saying the 2007 batch is that fantastic, in fact its not. its just a few outstanding ones that are worth looking at.

hm. i too do look at older guys, contrary to the time when i said that i've never looked at older guys. i wonder if i'll see them again. cricketers.. the sport is not without its perks. =D

damn, listen to myself. i'm being such a hopeless almost-18-year old.

i still have tons of disgusting geog and math homework to be done. life is fabulous innit. i need sleep la shitheads.

2007-01-21T00:06:00.000+08:00

high elements.
i thought i'd be afraid of them. but it turns out, i want more.

odac did a great job though.

i've been pretty shagged this week, this week being the busiest for me. i've been slping rather early yet coming late to school for the past few days. but that's okay. as long as i have my daily dose of coffee/tea i'm fine.

i really miss cricket and the people at the lvl 0 coaching course. i wonder if i'll ever get to see them again. being an asshole i am, i didnt exchange numbers. so much for learning how to create contacts from my job. hopefully, all of them will be there again at the next course.

i need retail therapy.
i saw a fabulous pair of evisu sneakers online. i doubt they retail here in singapore, but only if i had my hands on them..

so shoot me for having a fascination with male shoes and clothing, but i cant help it. its just too darn bad i cant pull them off.

these shoes are pretty right? though they come in the smallest size of 7..

2007-01-17T23:26:00.000+08:00

the past 2 nights at SCA proved insightful.

other than hawt indian cricketing dudes, there were several oldtimers and coaches who gave valuable feedback and tips. i definitely learned alot. my bowling, batting, fielding, umpiring..it was indispensable.

eye candy(ies) + cricket + good coaches + good tips + breeze of the night + good vibe + vid clips of Test series/the Ashes between the English and the Aussies = fabulous.

now, HOWZAT?!?

now im even more determined to become better.
cricketers, get ur level up and play every saturday with Rasta! with full gear and real ball! (and possibly get some eyecandy as well, but thats just a bonus. heh.)

im such a happy mofo.

journey-open arms.

2007-01-16T01:14:00.000+08:00

Oldies ROCK!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kTMzPpwc36M

Journey- Open Arms

Once again, songs of yesteryear fills my head with nostalgia.
and i absolutely love it.

oldies are alot different than current songs in the aesthetic sense. it has alot more meaning, alot more emotion, and the sounds are more simplistic. that's what i love about oldies. it just lets you truly feel.

2007-01-16T00:23:00.000+08:00

just a random thought.

im not very technical when it comes to studying.
i dont care about essay structures
i dont care about which argument should come first
i dont care about meeting technical requirements
i dont care if i have this many arguments/ counterarguments
i dont do paragraphs, if i couldnt bother

i just let my thoughts be liquefied and stained on paper.

so maybe, that's why im disorganized.
and maybe, that's why im terrible at maths.
my thoughts are always disorganized.

but HEY. the ideas are there.
right?

2007-01-16T00:08:00.000+08:00

forgetting to bring my PE shorts today was probably the most disintellect thing i could do.
so i ended up with borrowed guys' shorts that was way too oversized and emphasized further the magnitude of my ass.
and i've got comments about that.
well im very aware of it.
the bane of my existence.

anjali, give me some ass-lovin'!

today, the question of science and religion came up in GP and i had quite a malicious time trying to articulate my thoughts into written words. science vs religion, science enhances religion, vice versa, what not. i realised again how AQ is such a pain to do. but finally, as it always does, writing stuff like this helps make my mood better. i just find this GP class alot more interesting than last year's, when i would find myself in a comatose midway through the blundering discomfort from the afternoon heat. there's alot more discussion, and discussion is my style of learning. i think.

so maths test is screwed and i cringe at the thought of crashing through last year's econs syllabus in time for this wednesday's test. everything's a damn rush now, and i seem to have no time for much recreation. tmr night and the night after, i have course. perhaps my goal of getting into jiujitsu this year might not materialise at all. sigh. but whatever.

i really feel like rolling on some grass.

2007-01-15T00:33:00.000+08:00

DISCOVERY OF THE DAY:

Hitsugaya's seiyuu (voice actor) is the same as Tao Ren!!!!!!!!
Both are my favourite characters!!
PAKU ROMI!!!
No wonder i thought hitsugaya's voice sounded familiar!
so it's true!

:D

(will anyone tell me where i can find a poster of hitsugaya so i can hang him up next to taoren on my wall...)

Hitsugaya=Sexy
Tao Ren= Sexy

!!

Pardon my incoherence but i'm really in love with hitsugaya now. that deep deep voice.
GAH.

cricket is love.

2007-01-11T23:41:00.000+08:00

in a sudden fever for cricket, which may have started after seeing an SAS dude walking in with SS cricketbat over his shoulders, i have found myself pouring over cricket icons and images. as well as looking at equipment.

something tells me that i should try out serious wicketkeeping.

and more good news for cricketers:
1. SCA/ACC level 0 coaching course.
16,17 Jan from 6.30-9pm
Free. Basics of coaching.

2. Elementary Scorers Course
Sat 10/2 & Sun 11/2, time unknown yet.
Free.
There will be a Test at the end of the course and successful participants will get a cert.

Both courses are held at SCA @ Kallang. inform me via tag/msn/email/hp/in person if interested so that i can send out a confirmation email to the Manager at SCA, by this sat 13/1.

On another note, i've been itching to swing my bat of late. The monsoon's out in force, and this ascertains some kinda pessimism for finding a sunny bright day for cricketing. hm.

(i think i want to get a proper bat soon. PENINSULA ANYONE?)
----

School has definitely been boring, and work is piling. yet i find myself so detached from all the work, and my procrastination level has been increasing. to do:

1. Human Geog, 2 reports
2. Maths test, next week
3. Econs test, next week
4. GP presentation, week 5
5. Cricket planning

Busy, busy. seems that year 2007 opened up with a boring bang.

2007-01-09T00:22:00.000+08:00

seriously. u deserve better. alot better.

i've not forgiven myself. i just hope u realise that you deserve someone alot better. someone who can make you whole.

all i did. was to tear you up.

how can u still want me.

2007-01-08T21:38:00.000+08:00

today, for the first time in ages, i've decided to pick up a literary text to consume my brain with and decided on picking up the classic text The Shape of Things To Come by H G Wells. It's supposed to be a Sybillian text of some sort, prophesising on the world in time to come. the novel was of course, written decades before our time. and so far, although its ironclad with pompous words that i sometimes need to read twice/thrice to understand it.. seems pretty ok. the only thing now, is wether i'll survive a novel.. i rarely finish a novel... so i guess this is some sort of challenge.

so why the sudden decision? maybe because of GP class.. i had fun trying to give interpretations of the meaning of science.. science.. is the quantification of life's mysteries.. and might i add, a readjusment of ideas. and technology? technology is a creation of man that capitalises on science to allow us to pursue convenience, power and possibly to pursue the shrinking of space and time. but at the same time, with power comes responsibilities, and because there are indeed the bad seeds in our society, technology can cost us our lives as well.. haha.

school's started and seems like everyone's busy.
already, i am missing certain persons.

(i think i might be a bit paedophilic somehow.)

2007-01-08T00:52:00.000+08:00

emotions are raw.

and perhaps in what has been a long time since i last discussed my emotions, it seems that there are indeed things that i still havent fixed. and indeed there are many issues that i still havent solved, many feelings that i have kept hidden beneath a cemented structure. perhaps i've been ignoring my feelings for too long, just trying to forget that i do have emotions.

it's just suddenly overwhelming to realise the seemingly inconspicious people you know, have done so much for you, and yet you do not realise it until you discuss your emotion. suddenly, i am wondering if this friend of mine is doing well at all, this friend who doesn't seem so significant previously. it was only until just now that i suddenly realise that he's been there for me, even though for a few times, but still he did appear when i thought i lost it all. i've known him for 4 years and even though he's not exactly a best friend, i'm comfortable enough with him to be able to shed tears in front of him, something which i would otherwise consider a feat since i hate to shed tears in front of people. i saw him this morning, and he greeted me with a joke, something that is so characteristic of him. and now im wondering, he's seen the down side of me and he's been there, but have i done that for him?

i realised i have not. its either because he rarely shows his down side, him being always cheerful or that i have not paid close attention enough to maybe notice that he's feeling down.

and i am indeed such a terrible friend.

somehow, i have a feeling, that he wont be okay soon... i really hope that it turns out otherwise.

2007-01-07T02:06:00.000+08:00

hungry..
guess?

one, two, three. creatures of the night.

meetings

2007-01-07T01:41:00.000+08:00

the outing with my colleagues was fab!

sheikh,dzul and amin posing. i wonder what

cash, syasya, sheikh.

two loonies: dzul & muhd.

food, smoke, and a night of comraderie..
pseudo-minah!

2007-01-03T22:32:00.000+08:00

the first day of school went boring-ly, if i might add.
the timetable was kinda packed but at least we end earlier for most days as compared to last year.

it turns out i'm the only one in my class who's got a different grouping for GP and hell, i'm grouped together with Anjali. awesome or what. ooh and the babe gave me some stuff from egypt; a scarab beetle thingy, a pretty little paper clip, all packed in some papyrus-like envelope coupled with a touching letter on what i presume is papyrus (issit, anjali?). ah. and it was addressed: "DIANA. real minah. cricket pro (wk)." i couldnt help smiling. thanks babe! (i still think i'm only a pseudo-minah at most.)

and so. school ended at 2 today and i went back home, changed and went back to office. office was pretty quiet, since most of us have started to resume school. and so amin, nabil and sheik were the only ones left inhabiting the office together with sub and muhd. we sat at a coffeeshop in arab street and talked business with the seniors.

after that, muhd sub amin nabil all headed for jiujitsu. i SO BADLY wanted to go but NO i had HISTORY to complete. such a dampener on my spirits. and now amin's telling me how interesting it was.

okay. year 2 is starting and hell hath descended.

2007-01-02T03:00:00.000+08:00

rushing history essays is not a good thing.
especially with someone of short attention span like me.
1 down, 3 more to go.

and geog assignment also. such a bummer.

math hw? not touching it..

yeah. im a loser. beat it.

i have to meet my colleagues later on at National library to do project. although im not sure how they're gonna do it IN the library, considering their noise level. but i think its a good way to bond before we all separate to start the school year. im gonna miss everyone, really.

ah. for the sake of nostalgia- listen to prince's purple rain.

2006-12-31T19:12:00.000+08:00

jiujitsu!

thanks to mr muhd & sub, im now kinda interested in it.
i might take it up..

its great having martial arts exponents as your colleagues. from silat, to TKD, to jiujitsu.. u get alot of exposure when you get together for rough n tumbling sessions every thursday. and u get alot of support from each other, going by the way my colleagues went and watched my match despite my poor performance.

(speaking of which, for the new year, for martial arts, i resolve to: draw the first blood. i've been too soft and thoughtful of my opponents; plus i'll want to build myself as a fighter. that means more running, more training, more gym, more sparring, more practice.)

Fight First Talk Later

2006-12-27T13:42:00.000+08:00

jiujitsu.
thanks to muhd & sub, i'm now pretty interested in it.

listening to gorillaz's Feel Good Inc. makes me pretty darn hyped up for some martial arts action. sparring with people over the past few days got me high. for this year's poor showing, i resolve to fight mercilessly in the coming years. something tells me that as a fighter, i'm too soft, too cowardly, and too thoughtful of my opponent.

so from watching real fighters, i resolve to be merciless. violent, perhaps; but definitely relentless.

"Draw the first blood."
that shall be my resolve from now.

"Fight first, talk later."
That shall be my motto.
-----

Well, well, that sounds pretty uncharacteristic of me. True, but seriously, i think i need to change my mindset abit if i want to be a good fighter/martial artist.

Martial arts aside, as a general athlete, i need my stamina and endurance back. Having runners/sprinters as friends kinda inspires me to do more running for myself. I wonder when i'll execute it and make it a routine for myself. because i've always wanted to be a decent runner ever since i became interested in sports.

so.
i think i already have a quarter of my new year's resolution list thought through already.

2006-12-17T01:19:00.000+08:00

school hasnt started and already i have tests in the first month. and as if it couldnt get any worse, my CT texted to bring us good news: econs test based on all year 1 topics except cpe and market failure in week 3. joy. just what i need for christmas.

before i move on,
CRICKETERS:
team Rasta invited us to join them in their training every saturday, 8am at kallang. inform me or the other exco if ur going. oh, and there are rumours that the national trials will take place somewhere between march and june next year.

PESILAT:
inter-grasio tournament held at Republic Poly this coming friday. will update.

so.
office life has been interesting, getting to know people of all sorts. and perhaps i'm the oldest in my team, with the rest being mostly 16 year-olds. i've been getting interesting testimonials on friendster from my colleagues, the stranger one being: "Just Looking At You Makes Me Hungry". i'm pretty unsure of what it means but what the hell. Amin being the stoic guy was surprisingly entertaining in his own way, saying random stuff like "diana, you like to travel?". oh and he's a taekwondo exponent, much to my surprise. Syasya and Luqman are entertaining when they bicker, with luqman saying stuff like "you are ugly" or "is my hair okay this way". dzul is also random, just suddenly out of the blue msging me and mr muhd and the rest fill the office with color. mr muhd says i'm a joker cos i left national silat halfway and now im thinking of national cricket. that makes him a joker too, cos he was once in national athletics and national silat. elite team some more.

but somehow, i'm missing school. i bet ill start hating it when it starts again.

i'm really itching to finish watching bleach, but with my computer being an asshole, it seems like an almost impossible task to do. Soi Fon's hair is cool! maybe i should follow that style! anyhow, i'm wondering what it feels to be a cosplayer.. i know it sounds crazy but it should be fun shouldnt it? (okay i think i need sleep now.) deborah said that if i did go to cosplay or CosFest i'd probably be the only malay girl in there. that's okay, i just need friends to go cosplaying with me. any takers?

i've heard so many of my non-cosplaying friends saying that cosplayers are somewhat idiots, or something to that effect. i think otherwise; i think they really have enormous guts to pull cosplaying off, and i do think they're fun people. aw c'mon, its just like playing dress up! just that it's based on anime/manga/gaming/movies!

okay so if i do decide to go cosplaying, here are my choices:
1. a bleach character. probably as soi fon, yoruichi or matsumoto. i simply adore the shinigami uniform.
2.a shinobi. probably from peacemaker kurogane.

well, go ahead and diss me!

2006-12-12T23:53:00.000+08:00

i'm feeling a bit weighed down and im not sure why.

i think it's because i can't live up to others' expectations of me.

yeah that must be it.

anyway. the tournament is in 10 days and i'm still pretty slack abt both seni and olahraga. i have a feeling i'll underperform. i seriously want to avoid the '05 seni festival weapon-dropping incident. i got at least10 precious points deducted just because of it. but hey, seni was never my forte and i'm still a noob at it. compared to olahraga, which i have a preference for, i've still alot of basics to learn in seni.

watching the doha games for no reason at night opened up my eyes to new sports. i didnt know remy ong was a left-handed bowler! anyhow, i found beach volleyball, hockey and track and field very scintillating. but alas, i doubt i'd ever excel/get to try those sports because: 1. i'm too short for volleyball, 2. hockey will have to wait, although i sometimes get reminded of my very very brief encounter with saints hockey, 3. i'm just wayyy to unfit to get into track. i cant run, cant jump, cant throw and all.

sigh. im no good. as a person. as an athlete. as a worker. as a student. as-whoever.

i'm still wondering if i've got talent in anything at all.

oh. i never knew medieval swordsplay existed in singapore. i wasnt sure where, but there's an eurasian community that brought medieval swordsplay into some CC. IT IS SO COOL OKAY. think: chainmail, armor, sword, medieval times, knights. it's like angmoh kendo i think. totally unorthodox, but then again, unorthodox is cool. speaking of which, i passed by a store in the beach road area that specialised in the sales of armor and swords. EH HOW FRIGGIN COOL IS THAT. i must must must learn swordplay.

KENDO??

i kinda resent that SAJC doesnt have any martial arts as a cca. c'mon, not even TAEKWONDO or JUDO la. there's a schools league for that and i'd have probably been in either one cca if it existed in SAJC at all. what still bewilders me is that it doesnt have even taekwondo. taekwondo is pretty ubiquitious la, following which, is wushu. sajc is a bit incomplete without martial arts as a cca. to me at least. (well, you heard the martial artist's grievances.) i just wished i knew some taekwondo/judo/wushu shifu or something so that i can bring it in to SA. but i dunno how many potential exponents there would be in this school, though. just think: racket sports? tennis, badminton, table tennis. ball sports? soccer, vball, hockey, cricket, bball. water sports? swimming, water polo. artistic sports? rhythmic gymnastics. they have the whole plethora but martial arts. (doesnt SAINTS TAEKWONDO or SAINTS JUDO or SAINTS WUSHU (or perhaps SAINTS SILAT. haha.) sound nice?? c'mon principal (i forgot your name, so sorry)!!)

(if any potential saints exponents are reading this, and want to petition for a new cca, include me! not that i'm betraying cricket, but i wanna see martial arts grow in SA.)

enough of that ranting.

i'm already missing school. but i've got homework waiting.

2006-12-09T10:38:00.000+08:00

i've been either too busy with silat/work, too lazy, or the pc has been screwing with me for me to blog regularly.

well, today i'm pretty free. unless i really go for Pasir Ris East friendly, that is. but i guess not. need to touch my homework badly. MARCUS CHEW still hasnt given me my history assignment. gah.

yesterday i finally sparred seriously after not having had a taste of it after so long. 2 girls; one from pasir ris east cc and the other from queenstown cc. i guess it went fine. i didnt execute what i had planned because both of them didnt react as i expected and so there was on-the-dot changes. i was a nervous wreck before my matches; typical of me. i even told syahidah that i was more comfortable fighting Zan, fighting guys from my centre than another girl. she gave me that -_-' look. haha. i guess that's most probably because i know their fighting style.

i was really happy to get Balls and his bro, Li as my corner-men. i could really use their advice during my fights. Balls, because he's experienced as an ex-national pesilat; Li because he's a national pesilat, fights well, reads opponents well, plus he's also my favourite-st pesilat. and the fact that i trust both of them.

they commented that i was a bit too fast for the first round. i think i shall pace myself the next time. they said i made one of my opponents cry in the ring; i was surprised because i didnt notice her cry at all. well i'm sorry then. i have a feeling i'll be relentlessly getting beaten during the real tournament. karma you know.

anyway after training, zan, balls, li, zul and i headed to parkway where they all ate at banquet and i just stole bits of food and drinks from them.

it was really nice to finally hang out with all of them after so long. i've been so busy with work, with cricket for some time to realise that i really cherish the comraderie here at my centre. i mean, the last time we really hung out, the 4-5 of us, was last year, during the seni festival. and after all, most of us have been with the centre since the very beginning, 4 years ago.

later on, i heard that i might be moving out, to someplace further away. i doubt it'll happen but even if it did, i think i'll have to face alot of sentimental charges on me. after all, i grew up here. and all my silatmates are here. the hell i dont wanna move, even though my house is so small. the sentimental attachments are way bigger. if i move, i'll be far away from the people i adore who live here. far away from all the familiar sights, faces, sounds. i think i'm prepared to protest against moving if that issue is gonna materialise in my face.

I HOPE I DONT MOVE.

2006-12-05T22:47:00.000+08:00

monday i had a blast with cinny, fatin & deborah in haji lane & bugis after trng.
quirky items.
icecream.
bubbles.
RETRO DRESSES!
loves.

today, the job interview went pretty well. turns out my boss is a national pesilat. and i'm working with 2 of my silat kakis. i hope i'll enjoy this job; cos i easily get bored. it seems that he's easy to talk to; cross my fingers that i'll have fun earning moolah at this company.

i chilled at the national library with my friend; tried to find books that i've always been meaning to read, unfortunately i can't remember any of the titles and i ended up reading comics, shakespeare's sonnets and a bit of TIME Magazine. i didn't realise it had begun to rain heavily and since we couldnt get about in our office gear; we proceeded to 11th floor to just gaze at the view. i picked up a Marketing magazine and a university report titled Deathscapes of Malay Martial Artists. i must say the report was pretty amazing, it was most likely based on the traditional, spiritual, ancient form of silat. "Silat teaches one to die happy." geez, that's some deep stuff there; death begets my nerves like anything. well, like everything else, even silat changes and evolves with time. i think i would've never been given the chance to be one back in those days; given that girls "dont fight". but i think even if i were a pesilat in the ancient times; i'd probably be wiser, stronger and smarter when i fight. spiritual stuff works wonders ya know. its just difficult to obtain; and helluva dangerous.

speaking of which; i think i wanna pick up kendo.

2006-12-03T14:06:00.000+08:00

hitsugaya toushirou, 10th division captain from bleach.
my current obsession.

it seems like i have a thing for platinum-haired anime characters. hitsugaya is one, and there's this kid from peacemaker kurogane, suzu kitamura who's got similar hairstyle that i obsessed over sometime back during my PMK days.

sigh.

2006-12-01T23:16:00.000+08:00

chalet was a blast. even though the games were mostly not my idea of fun, the comraderie was in full blast, and everyone got to know the other better. i'm surprised there's no conflict nor backstabbing like my previous experiences and the experienced shed light on many of the cricketers.

haha.and and i learnt to speak the hongkong accent and play BRIDGE! i feel so intelligent. all thanks to deborah.

and one of the unforgettable experiences was the mess tin dinner and lunch. i've never eaten so much canned food in my life before. and from there i found my profound love for canned peanuts. i've been having it everyday since i came back.

haha. its a pity half the team wasn't there. or it'd have been more fun.
----

anyhow, ive been thinking. how do i fight when i'm not a fighter by nature? perhaps im too soft. shit i need to find the fighter in me. before its too late. the ring's gonna be tough. i've to toughen up and take jack from all the impact. i need to go fight fight fight. i've been through all this before, why think about this now?

2006-11-26T00:49:00.000+08:00

Modern technology has computed the reaction time a batsman has. Thefaster deliveries give the batsman between half and three-quarters of a secondto respond. This responding business is not as simple as it sounds when youconsider that, more likely than not, the bowler is an extremely strong, litheman who has taken a run-up of 36 meters to build up velocity for his projectile,which is a hard, small, cricket ball that weighs around 140 grams. The ballleaves the bowler's hand at the apogee of a leap and a full swing of the arm,and travels the distance of the pitch—20 yards—at a speed sometimes close to 160km/h. To further complicate matters, as it comes at you the ball hits the groundand changes direction to torpedo toward the most precious parts of your body.The only weapon against this assault is a bat made of willow.

As quoted from Anjali's blog, which was quoted from a Time Mag article featuring the greatest living exponent of his craft- Sachin Tendulkar. anjali's abrasion is also nicked Sachin the Scab by the way. Fabulous method of advertising cricket. haha. and rachel's blister is Ganguly the Blister.

Sachin the Man is sponsored by MRF (which my bat has plastered on btw), he's a leftie but is ambidextrous when he's batting (haha. a bit like me eh? though i prefer my left side).

I hope Mr Muthu of SAS cricket team allows us to use their field to train. He said we should, and we should. because it's bad enough that we train on the track, which does little to stimulate the feel of a cricket field, and the field is reserved mainly for the soccer/rugby boys. oh. and the synthetic cricket balls are love! i dont want tennis balls anymore! once i used the real balls.. there's just no turning back to the soft and bouncy tennis balls.. right anjali?

haha. i hope the women's league will be materialised soon. things i wanna do for cricket:
1. learn to bowl for god's sake. i cant bloody bowl.
2. be a trained wicket keeper
3. learn pace bowling, fast bowling and all that.
4. shape up my batting. speaking of which, i felt sooo good batting fast balls from the SAS cricket team. more of that love! BUT, i kinda know how it feels to be bodylined. ball at high speed hitting ur body, and in particular, MY CHEST. it sounds kinda sadistic, but i felt like a real cricketer after that bodyline incident. haha. but as i always say, GUARD THE WICKET WITH ALL YOUR LIFE (and limb).

---
today it rained heavily, mirroring my emotions and tears. perhaps i havent gotten over you after all. but it's not fair to you, and to him.
why am i such a bitch?

2006-11-25T11:16:00.000+08:00

in what i'd say is a full view of my ass (there are several similar photos of my ass at the SCA website. wash ur eyes after that.), here's me wicketkeeping and cinny bowling against team Rasta. i had fun.

SAJC Team 4, you did well.

Cinny, Wen Hui, Rachel, Me, Anjali, Wan Leng.

And to SAJC Teams 1,2 & 3. I think you all did a fine job at the pitch. We'll screw up more asses in March okay?

Haha. Up next, is the Chalet. Looking forward.

kick ass.

2006-11-23T23:55:00.000+08:00

ok.
so. sajs didnt turn up.. and guess who we friendlied against?
SAS.

surprise surprise. i was expecting us to get owned, but haha! the first match turned out better than i had expected, given our comparitively noob skills.

SAS: 65 runs; 9 wickets
SAJC: 82 runs; 3 wickets ( i think)

i thought we lost due to the wickets, but the umpire said it was based on the runs. haha. then again i think it wasnt a fair match cos umpire said he didnt give runs for every wide we gave (which we gave ALOT). i managed to score a 4-runner one of the times i batted and it was swell. the SAS wicketkeeper was like saying "they're screwing us up" and i was smiling to myself.

haha. then 2nd match i had to play again cos the 2nd team was short of one. but the 2nd match was cancelled halfway due to rain.

i think we played alright, but let's not get complacent cos the REAL event is TMR. in 9 hours.

haha. and sustained injury due to a fast ball bowled into my CHEST. haha. at least i didnt have injury. my girls serve me well :P

AH. What i noted:
1. we need to practise our bowling. batting, fielding, catching are fine. but bowling needs alot of push. and strength cos we're using rubber cricket balls.
2. we can anticipate where the batter's gonna bat the ball to. watch his stance and his eyes.
3. COVERUP. good job. but need one or 2 fast runners to cover near the boundary.
4. dont be afraid of the ball. you're to be in control.

Haha. i hope we do well tmr.

AAAAND. I miss someone.

ever blazing

2006-11-23T10:11:00.000+08:00

i have a friendly against sajs (yes, laugh at it wouldja) in less than 3 hours time.
i have artistic training later at night.
tmr, i have the Cricket Carnival (i'd prefer to call it a Tournament or something, cos Carnival just depicts slack and fun) the whole day.
then at night i have match training.
then in December, i have the Tournament.

with such a packed weekend, with another training on saturday to boot, and silat training intensifying in the coming weeks, i badly need my stamina, strength and endurance back. and i need my fighting tempo.. i've lost it waay back.

and just when i had intended to run some laps at school this morning and working out, i just had to oversleep and wake up at 9, 2.5 hours later than i intended.

tell me, have u never seen such a sloppy athlete?

WAKE UP NK. YOU'RE ABOUT TO BE BEATEN IN THE RING & YOU'RE STILL HAVING A LACKADAISICAL ATTITUDE TOWARDS EVERYTHING.

screw you, big fuck.
i frustrate myself sometimes.

2006-11-21T18:51:00.000+08:00

and thus the day went great.

had fabulous company, trying to study math, which was pretty fruitless because we were both rusty, but at least we picked up the pen and paper after ages since promos.. bumped into syahidah, who now has all the free time in the world since the last of her Os.

oh well time for announcements.

ANNOUNCEMENTS:

GEYLANG EAST-ERS:
1. 25 nov, 1-3pm compulsory weigh-in for tanding category @ PERSISI.
2. you can come to geylang serai cc for extra trng on thursdays 8-9.30. especially for seni participants
3. you can aslo come to pasir ris east cc on saturdays. come for the first session since everyone's at least 13 for that session. this is especially for tanding participants. 1st session is from 5-7pm
4. this saturday at pasir ris east cc, there will be compulsory friendly with you guys for tanding. please come after the weigh in. starts at 5.

CRICKETERS:
1. training tmr, 21 nov, at 8 in school. dont be late.
2. friendly against sajs on thursday, most probably at either IA or SCA( Kallang). time and venue to be confirmed again.
3. Carnival this Friday @ SCA Kallang. time TBC.
4. Chalet @ Downtown next week 27-29 nov. check-in at 4pm at main lobby of downtown east. PLEASE PAY UP. ah. bring CANNED FOOD (abt 3 cans). no pork.

well enough of all that thingimajig.

2006-11-20T19:10:00.000+08:00

i'm feeling like a makeover right now. mood: eccentric chic. anyway. WILL SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME WHAT THE BELOW HAIRSTYLES ARE CALLED?? I THINK THEY'RE HOTTTTTT. I WANTTTT!! (but i still love my long hair. boo.)

some (random) pics i found online:

this is dinie's when she still had them.. love!

(DA BOMB. shit that is AWESOME.)

i need to do something with my hair.
anyone with great ideas?

2006-11-18T15:10:00.000+08:00

today, i've been having my fill of utada hikaru, ayumi hamasaki and BoA songs. in particular, my faves: first love, dearest, every heart (well actually they're the only ones i currently have).

it was just when i was recalling the time i stumbled upon one of utada hikaru's new songs at HMV as we were rummaging thru jpop cds. or rather, he was. i was just watching him closely, my curiousity piqued as i listened to him telling me about jpopsters. haha. i think i need to find out what that song is. someone has the full album doesnt he? :D

speaking of jpop, i think i'll never go to KKnM store by myself again. i felt so out of place, i, being the only malay girl in a store full of grown, working chinese males with cash to burn. and the store wasnt like a typical store. you had to ask for what you're looking for. and i didnt know how to go about it, all the staff occupied with the said grown men asking for latest shitajikis and manga and whatnot. and all i wanted was to find my ouran high stuff :(

eh. i miss your company already.

2006-11-18T00:23:00.000+08:00

The people i adore.

4e8 minahs.

..06a03 fools..

..and 06a03 kia.
(marcus looks like he's a CMI stripper. Kevin is just CMI. haha.)

in ascending order.

and plus, this someone else.. which of course, whose photo i shall not reveal.

hm

2006-11-17T15:46:00.000+08:00

i had even more fun yesterday hangin' out with you =)

2006-11-14T21:32:00.000+08:00

today was simply magnificent.
someone finally found out that metro is not a bookstore.
and i was comfortable, even in the freezing hall of the movie theater.
i had fun burnin' time with you.

thank you so much for the wonderful time.
i enjoyed myself thoroughly.
=D

post-op.

2006-11-11T18:12:00.000+08:00

things have been mid-insane after OP.

lunched with Cui at PS after a session of hockey with her and then we met half the class to watch Step Up (which was fantastic by the way, the soundtrack was awesome. sean paul goes: WHY DONT YOU GIVE IT UP TO ME. and pitbull goes: TOMA TOMA and i was like: Damn, i need to shake my thang.) soon after, Cui and Nicole decided to be kids again, jumping on the trampoline in the middle of PS. twas such fun.

oh and yesterday. i tried handling a motorbike. hehe. i rode for about 5 metres or so; it wasnt much but i was thrilled. still needed to get used to the weight though. clutch, gear, handbrake, throttle.. and ADRENALINE! i'ma be a biker chick soon. next year if i get a sponsor to my class 2B/2A license :D

i've been feeling high of late. thanks to a certain person.

addictive

2006-11-07T16:52:00.000+08:00

i can't believe this. i'm downing another litre of nutri tea's herbal tea again. i'm addicted to herbal tea. i found myself often buying a one-litre box and downing it all.. and just that day i had val's mom's brewed herbal tea and it was fantabulous.

nutri-tea's herbal tea is awesome. though some of my friends dont think so. the chrysanthemum and wolfberry one is just so-so, it tasted like typical chrysanthemum tea, not much fragrance and all. but please, do not get the Genmai Green Tea. its just horrid. or oolong tea for that matter. its tasteless.. and any tea that is not sweet to me is horrid.

haha. blame my sweet tooth.

as i'm typing this, i'm already thinking abt rocky road icecream. its been ages man. i could eat a whole one-litre (or how many litres issit) tub of it by myself. its got marshmallows and nuts, and its chocolate. CHOCOLATE. how can i not love it.. two of my favs in one. the best rocky road icecream uses bittersweet/dark chocolate. i've yet to taste an exceptional one. of course, i'm being biased just because i adore bittersweet/dark chocolate. i still remember that time my mom bought a whole box of rocky road icecream unknowingly and i ended up lapping up every bit of it because she and my sister hates it.

apart from that, i've been having alot of sweet stuff lately. like the latenight company i have online these days :)

i can't wait for OP and PW to be officially over.
i want to go cycling again.
and feel the sea breeze in my hair.

so drama.

victoria boys

2006-11-06T22:58:00.000+08:00

cricket session at CSC in the morning was a mixed pot of embarrassment and laughter.

firstly, the VS boys were alot better than us, despite being in lower sec (of course, they'd probably played it all their lives) and i was so embarrassed at my comparitively noob bowling.
my bowling is trash. and well, we played a match with them and they were so mischievous and funny, i enjoyed it alot.

i went back to school with anjali lugging 2 bats each for our respective PWs. PW was fine, ms wong said i had improvement in my intonation and whatever but i still needed to memorise all that. well, that will have to suck because i have atrocious memory. somehow, the past crept back as i was minding my own business and excused myself to the toilet to allow my frustrations out.

then the 2nd cricket session. it rained for sometime and we trained in the rain. bad move cos right now i'm probably down with the flu. it was fun as coach did some new stuff. however i still need to brush up on my driveshot and bowling. ah yes.

and for other reasons, monday was awesome enough.

more and more

2006-11-04T21:44:00.000+08:00

today was spent mulling about plaza singapore after cricket meeting. the chalet; i hope it goes well. i can't wait to spend one of the nights gazing at the sky (or if i could, i would probably go fishing; but since my uncles won't be there and that i'm an amateur, its just too bad.) yeah, that and the probable fact that i don't have to think about all the shit i'm feeling right now.

someone advised that i should open up more. yeah, maybe i should. its probably the reason i'm in this state right now; and its very pathetic i think.

i hope soon enough i'll be able to look back and see that perhaps i'm stronger. in more ways than one.

ah well.
can't wait for monday!

move on?

2006-11-04T21:40:00.000+08:00

perhaps i should just play your way, and block you outta my head.

should i just move on?